Well we did it. Operation no 2 is done. I'm so proud of my Ryan. He did an amazing job again. It was a hard day again, they took the tendon from his leg and inserted it into his lids. No skin grafts yet - the dr is hoping that the tendon might be enough. We'll know more next week when we have the check up as to how successful it was etc. BUT>... it looks great. Not a huge difference but you can definately see an improvement. They have kind of created a "crease" in his upper lid and lifted it up a bit. I'll post photo's in the next day or so!
His leg has a cut in it about 4cm long and you can see the bruise going up his leg about 10 - 15cm. (that must be how much tendon came out?!?!) His leg is quite sore still, but his eye's are ok now.
We had a rough night the first night, he was up every couple of hours with pain in his forehead and leg, but I gave him panadol and a cold face washer to hold over his face and heaps of cuddles and we made it through! We headed home and he slept most of the way. He must've been quite sore and out of sorts though cause we took him to the pancake kitchen in Ballarat on the way home and he didn't eat anything!!!!!!!!
Anyway... Thursday (day3) was heaps better, we spent the day at home and then a couple of hours visiting his class at school. He was really good and didn't even need any pain killers on that day.
Today (day 4) has been a bit different, he's a bit grumpy and out of sorts again. But I think he's mainly just tired. we've been home again and he's only had one dose of panadol and seems to be ok. I think another good night's sleep tonight and he'll be 100%.
He didn't even get any shiner's this time! The only real bruising is to his leg which is amazing considering what he's been through. I can't speak highly enough of our amazing doctor. He's been so good and has done a wonderful job.
Anyway, we have a check up on Wed next week and will find out what the next steps are... but I think we might have a bit of a break now which will be good. It's been an exhausting and emotional time and I'm just glad to have a couple of op's down and out of the way.
I do have to say a HUGE thank you to Rell for the home away from home... Mum for being so wonderful with Jesse & Cody and ALL of my family for the support. I would not have been able to get through it without you ALL. I love you lots and lots.
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxxooxoxoxoxoxoxoxxoxo
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Monday, September 27, 2010
Ready for Operation No. 2
Well op no 2 is fast approaching. We are due in Melb on tuesday 5th October. This next operation is called a "brow suspension". This is where they take skin & tendon from Ryan's upper thigh. The tendon is inserted into his upper lids and through to the top of his forhead (3 times each eye) and it pulls the top lid open. He will have three small cuts above each eye on the forhead where the tendon is held in place?!?!
Once this operation is completed he will not be able to fully close his eyes for a long time (approx 1 yr). Apparantly this does not bother children.
I am feeling a bit strange about this op. I don't know why exactly but I suppose I'm just worried. It's going to be really tough on him this time I think. But then again he coped fine last time so maybe he'll be ok. He will also look quite "different" after this op. Which is why we're doing it all I suppose but it just feels strange. I've gotten quite used to his "special eye's".
I will put another post on here next week after the operation and hopefully some photo's!
Once this operation is completed he will not be able to fully close his eyes for a long time (approx 1 yr). Apparantly this does not bother children.
I am feeling a bit strange about this op. I don't know why exactly but I suppose I'm just worried. It's going to be really tough on him this time I think. But then again he coped fine last time so maybe he'll be ok. He will also look quite "different" after this op. Which is why we're doing it all I suppose but it just feels strange. I've gotten quite used to his "special eye's".
I will put another post on here next week after the operation and hopefully some photo's!
Monday, July 5, 2010
The first weeks after operation #1
Well I haven't had much time to blog lately with my beautiful three boys keeping me very busy.
This photo here is on the way home from melbourne - look at the difference already! We can see the white's of Ryan's eye's on the inside!
Ryan has done a fantastic job with his recovery. He hasn't complained at all and has taken it all in his stride. The first week we had to clean and apply ointment 3 times a day, the second week was 2 times a day and now we are just daily.
We had a check up in Melb on thursday last week (12 days post op) and Dr McNab was extremely happy with Ryan's progress. We were concerned that Ryan had opened up one of the corners during some rough play time with his big brother! BUT.. it's all ok, the stitches had come un done early but still looked fine.
The big part of the day though was that we have cancelled the second op that was due for NOW!! It had been scheduled for 11am Tuesday 6th (RIGHT THIS MINUTE!!). This was an error on the part of the assistants in the Dr's rooms though. He would like ryan to recover better from this op before doing the second which is skin grafts / tendon etc from his legs into his upper lids. The operation will now be in approx 3 - 6 months. We have an apptm scheduled as a check up in 6 weeks so we will make the booking then.
Overall it has been an ok experience. I had expected it to be an absolute nightmare but it hasn't been at all. Ryan has been great, Cody has been fantastic as has Andrew. Other than just being tired with all the travel, worry etc we've all been ok.
Ryan will go back to school next week and we'll just wait now until the next operation comes around. Hopefully it won't be so daunting now that we know just what a brave amazing boy we have!
Thanks everyone for your support and encouragement over the past few weeks. Narelle, it is great knowing we have your house to call our own while we are down there! Mum & Dad thank you for looking after the other boys and allowing me and andrew to concentrate on Ryan while in Hospital. It was nice to know the other two were being spoilt rotten and looked after and just be able to spend this time with Ryzie. Sherryn, your support does not go un-noticed - Thank you! And to all the friends, family and strangers who have offered support - we appreciate it all immensely. Thank you all. xoxo
Thursday, June 24, 2010
The day arrives - Operation #1
Well... Tuesday 22nd June, 2010. The day we've been waiting for had finally arrived. We had to be at the hospital by 10.45. We were up at 6.30 and fed Ryan brekky - he ate 5 pancakes (pikelet size!) with nutella! We usually struggle to get a piece of toast into him, he must've known it was going to be a while till his next feed! Rell & Josh headed off to work and we all said our goodbye's, we were a bit emotional with the stress of the day and not knowing what to expect so it was a little teary!
We left Narelle's at 9am and got into the city a bit before 10. Still another hour to wait! Mum & Dad met us and we just hung out outside and played and tried to keep busy. Ryan & Cody had a play around - running jumping & yelling! They had a great time - the rest of us were nervous as hell and just trying to keep a brave face.
Then it was time to go - we said our goodbyes and off we went. Ryan almost pulled us through the doors to the hospital he was in such a hurry. At this stage I was almost in tears because all I kept thinking was "the poor little bugger doesn't have a clue what he's in for!!!!"
Into the ward - Ryan was weighed, measured and given his special PJ's! We got him all ready and then went through the box of "goodies" the hospital gave us - a special teddy / book / texta's etc. This kept us busy for a couple of hours in between waiting for the dr's etc. We took lots of photos and played lots of cards etc. Ryan was amazing - took it all in, asked heaps of questions and just got on with it.
The doctor called in to check on us and let us know that we'd be in approx 1pm and that it would take approx 1 - 1.5 hours. I was in a little shock cause I thought it would take longer! The anaesthatist also called in and checked him out - asked lots of questions and asked us if we had any preferences as to using the mask or a needle. He said the needle was quickest and easiest and that he thought Ryan seemed to be "pretty easy to get along with" so we decided to try that. He said if Ryan was distressed or if he looked like having trouble he would use the mask.
And then we waited again.........
1pm came and we headed downstairs to the operating suite. We were told only one of us could go in with Ryan to the anaesthatist - Andrew went in. I gave Ryan some big cuddles and told him I'd be there when he woke up, then they walked off hand in hand. That is when I broke down - I cried and cried watching them close the doors. I was so scared for him. When andrew came back though he told me that Ryan was great - asked more questions and didn't even budge when the needle went in. He watched it go in and asked "what does that do.........zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz" He was out to it straight away!
Andrew and I went and had some lunch and then headed back up to the waiting room. I was quite sick at this stage (blaming it on my noodles for lunch!) but I think it may have just been nerves! It seemed to take forever but at 4pm we finally got the call that Ryan was finished and waking up. Again we were only allowed to have one of us in the recovery room but this time I went. By the time I got there he was dead to the world again ... it took another 45 mins for him to wake up. His eyes were covered in blood and a little bruised. We cleaned him up in recovery and he had an icy pole.
We headed back to the ward where Mum & Dad and Cody & Jesse had arrived. It was a huge relief for all of us to see Ryan had pulled through fine. He got up a few times and talked away to us then went back to sleep. It was about 7pm by the time we got him awake properly and he ate a cup of ice cream / icy pole and a vegemite sandwich! Needle's etc all came out with no problems and we were off home! WOW
It was a huge relief to be heading out of the hospital, Ryan slept most of the way home but when we got there was wide awake!
He ate again - banana bread and then ice cream, before falling asleep on Rell's shoulder in front of the tv.
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
One Week To Go
Well, the operation is next week. We've paid the Dr... got the admission information etc etc... now we just have to do it.
I had a big talk to Ryan & Cody last night about what to expect and see how they were feeling about it all. They are both scared... Cody said he was scared because "he'd never seen anything like this before in his life". I explained to him that we hadn't either but that the Dr had done it before on lots of kids and we just had to trust that he'll look after Ryan and us! He seemed to accept that and is ok.
Ryan said he was scared too.... to which I asked why????.... "How will I see if I'm drinking Chocolate milk or Strawberry milk if my eye's are covered?????" That's his biggest fear! Oh my god - what an amazing little boy. I would be scared out of my skin and maybe he will be in a few days too - but now, he's just taking it all in his stride. And he does understand what's going on - he knows that he'll be put to sleep, the dr will make cuts in the side of his eye's / nose and that he'll have his eye's bandaged when he comes out of the op. I've even said he will be very sore for a few days - so it's not like he doesn't know what's going to happen, he just accepts it.
And me... well I'm absolutely shitting myself already! I have already come out in excema and I'm not sleeping well. So I just want it all to be over and done with. I know I have to put on a brave face for Ryan - which I am doing - and be as up-beat and positive as I can but it is so hard. I think this is probably the hardest one though cause we just don't know what to expect yet. But this time next week I'm sure we'll all be ok and dealing with whatever is thrown our way!
As for the operation and our plans:
Monday we will travel to Melbourne. We'll spend the day travelling so that we can stop and have a few play's etc and have a good relaxed day. Staying at Rell & Josh's for the night.
Tuesday: Ryan is allowed to eat up until 8am so we'll be up about 7.30 and give him breakfast and then just not mention that he isn't allowed to eat again - I'm hoping this just goes un-noticed!!! Mum & Dad will be down in Melb for the day so they will look after Cody & Jesse for us and Andrew, Me & Ryzie will head into the hospital. We need to be there no earlier than 10.45. The operation time is set for 11am. Then it's just sit and wait... and we'll let you all know as soon as we can how our brave little boy is going!
I think we'll spend the rest of the week in Melb with Rell and head home on the weekend. But that will depend on how Ryan is and how I feel about taking him 4 hours away from the Dr. We'll talk to the Dr and ask his advice on this one!
I have found that I am doing a lot of staring at my beautiful Ryan's face this week. From next week it's going to start changing. It's a funny feeling, up until now all we've wanted is for his eye's to be like everyone elses - but now that it's here I feel like I'm saying goodbye to the face we've loved for 5 years!
Anyway... that's it. We're finally counting down the days! It will all be behind us soon.
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
I had a big talk to Ryan & Cody last night about what to expect and see how they were feeling about it all. They are both scared... Cody said he was scared because "he'd never seen anything like this before in his life". I explained to him that we hadn't either but that the Dr had done it before on lots of kids and we just had to trust that he'll look after Ryan and us! He seemed to accept that and is ok.
Ryan said he was scared too.... to which I asked why????.... "How will I see if I'm drinking Chocolate milk or Strawberry milk if my eye's are covered?????" That's his biggest fear! Oh my god - what an amazing little boy. I would be scared out of my skin and maybe he will be in a few days too - but now, he's just taking it all in his stride. And he does understand what's going on - he knows that he'll be put to sleep, the dr will make cuts in the side of his eye's / nose and that he'll have his eye's bandaged when he comes out of the op. I've even said he will be very sore for a few days - so it's not like he doesn't know what's going to happen, he just accepts it.
And me... well I'm absolutely shitting myself already! I have already come out in excema and I'm not sleeping well. So I just want it all to be over and done with. I know I have to put on a brave face for Ryan - which I am doing - and be as up-beat and positive as I can but it is so hard. I think this is probably the hardest one though cause we just don't know what to expect yet. But this time next week I'm sure we'll all be ok and dealing with whatever is thrown our way!
As for the operation and our plans:
Monday we will travel to Melbourne. We'll spend the day travelling so that we can stop and have a few play's etc and have a good relaxed day. Staying at Rell & Josh's for the night.
Tuesday: Ryan is allowed to eat up until 8am so we'll be up about 7.30 and give him breakfast and then just not mention that he isn't allowed to eat again - I'm hoping this just goes un-noticed!!! Mum & Dad will be down in Melb for the day so they will look after Cody & Jesse for us and Andrew, Me & Ryzie will head into the hospital. We need to be there no earlier than 10.45. The operation time is set for 11am. Then it's just sit and wait... and we'll let you all know as soon as we can how our brave little boy is going!
I think we'll spend the rest of the week in Melb with Rell and head home on the weekend. But that will depend on how Ryan is and how I feel about taking him 4 hours away from the Dr. We'll talk to the Dr and ask his advice on this one!
I have found that I am doing a lot of staring at my beautiful Ryan's face this week. From next week it's going to start changing. It's a funny feeling, up until now all we've wanted is for his eye's to be like everyone elses - but now that it's here I feel like I'm saying goodbye to the face we've loved for 5 years!
Anyway... that's it. We're finally counting down the days! It will all be behind us soon.
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Sunday, May 23, 2010
1 Month to go!
Well... the operation is in one month! And I'm nervous as hell already! It's been a hectic and event-full couple of months leading up to now so we've been able to keep pretty busy - with Jesse turning up in late Feb, Easter... and all the preparation and excitement of Rell's Run 4 Ryan. But now it's just time to sit and twiddle our thumbs and wait for it all to happen.
Rell's Run 4 Ryan was amazing, SHE DID IT!!!!!!!!! 45 km along the Great Ocean Road from Lorne to Apollo Bay. What an amazing effort. We were all so very proud of her achievement. It was a very special time for all the family and we all couldn't have been prouder than when we saw her run into Apollo Bay.
My family is amazing - every single one of you!
Will keep you all posted over the next month in the lead up to Ryan's first Op!
xoxoxoxoxoxo
Rell's Run 4 Ryan was amazing, SHE DID IT!!!!!!!!! 45 km along the Great Ocean Road from Lorne to Apollo Bay. What an amazing effort. We were all so very proud of her achievement. It was a very special time for all the family and we all couldn't have been prouder than when we saw her run into Apollo Bay.
My family is amazing - every single one of you!
Will keep you all posted over the next month in the lead up to Ryan's first Op!
xoxoxoxoxoxo
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Thank you thank you thank you................
I wanted to say a huge THANK YOU to everyone who has donated money, showed support and just generally loved us through this whole process so far! I am constantly blown away by the people who are interested and generous enough to donate money for Ryan's operations. From the bottom of my heart I truly thank you all - it is amazing and I will never forget it.
To my beautiful family... you are a wonderful support and I appreciate absolutely everything you all do. THANK YOU SO MUCH... LOVE YOU ALL!!! xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
And Rell.... what can I say.... you are an absolute legend for everything you are setting out to do. I am so very proud and grateful. I don't think you will ever truly understand how much this all means to me, andrew and the boys. We love you lots...
To my beautiful family... you are a wonderful support and I appreciate absolutely everything you all do. THANK YOU SO MUCH... LOVE YOU ALL!!! xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
And Rell.... what can I say.... you are an absolute legend for everything you are setting out to do. I am so very proud and grateful. I don't think you will ever truly understand how much this all means to me, andrew and the boys. We love you lots...
Magic Eye's.......
So.... on our way to school the other morning, Ryan say's to me: "mummy, I don't think I want the doctor to fix my eye's anymore...."!! As I started having a minor panic attack (cause he's been soooo good up until now!) I calmly said to him "why's that Ryzie??" to which he replied....: "I like my magic eye's!" hehe So I don't really know what makes them magic, but I have assured him that even after the doctor operates on his eye's they will still be magic - maybe even more so! So now he seems to be happy again.
I am just hoping now that this is all I hear about him NOT wanting the op's done. I'm thinking that it is just perhaps because we've all been talking about it lately and raising money (thanks Rell!! and everyone who has donated / helped out!!). But I'm not really sure - I think we'll have moments like this over the next few months and maybe even tears.. but I hope it is all worth it!
I am just hoping now that this is all I hear about him NOT wanting the op's done. I'm thinking that it is just perhaps because we've all been talking about it lately and raising money (thanks Rell!! and everyone who has donated / helped out!!). But I'm not really sure - I think we'll have moments like this over the next few months and maybe even tears.. but I hope it is all worth it!
Monday, April 12, 2010
Ryan's Special Eye's
Ryan was born on 4th April, 2005. Within moments of him being born I knew that something wasn't quite right with his eyes. All the midwives / doctors / nurses all assured us that it was ok, they'll open up in time. But unfortunately they didn't.
It took about 4 months before we finally got help from a local doctor who referred us to Dr Andrew Narita, an eye specialist, at Geelong Private Hospital. Dr Narita diagnosed Ryan with Blepharophimosis Syndrome when he was 8 months old. We were told that it was mainly cosmetic but that he would suffer symptoms such as watery eye's, blocked tear ducts and discomfort. Luckily for us Ryan has only really had problem's with watery eye's.
We were advised that corrective surgery was the best option but that it was best to wait until Ryan's face and leg's grew. The reason for waiting for the leg to grow is because a skin and tendon graft would be needed in one of the surgeries.
We have had to visit Dr Narita every 6 - 12 months since this initial diagnosis in order for him to assess Ryan's vision. We have been lucky again that his vision has been perfectly normal for a child of his age.
We have always tried to be very positive about this condition with Ryan. We didn't really mention anything to him about surgery until very recently. Ryan knows that his eye's are different but to him (and us!) they are normal. He has handled it very well despite the questions from his friends at school and people in general. I have found that is the very young and the very old people who are the most upfront with their questions. We have been asked why Ryan looks sleepy... why can't he open his eye's properly... is he asian.... etc etc I have at times handled these questions badly and have felt bad for Ryan, but he has taught me to be strong and that it is ok to just answer as honestly as possible.
OUR JOURNEY TO THIS POINT...
At this stage we were under the impression that surgery was going to be a lengthy and painful process for everyone involved. We made the decision in early 2009 to send Ryan to school early (at 4yrs 9mths old) so that we had some time up our sleeves in order to be able to have him repeat a year if necessary after or during his surgeries.
Ryan started school in 2010. He struggles a little academically but he is loving the social side of school! During his first school holidays he came up to me and wanted to know when he could go back to school... cause his friends would be missing him!!!! Which I am sure is true as Ryan has always been the life of any party and the friendliest, kindest and most caring little boy I know.
During the school holidays our aptm with the surgery was finally booked... we were finally going to get some answers as to when and how the surgery would take place!
MEETING THE SURGEON - DR ALAN MCNAB
We met Dr McNab on Thursday 9th April. I was very nervous about what we were about to hear. Ryan had been told that we were there to meet the doctor and decide if he could make Ryan's eyes look like everyone else's. Dr McNab was fabulous. He got along well with Ryan, Andrew and I felt comfortable asking questions and Cody was involved and asking questions too. But the best thing was that he was so positive. He informed us that surgery would take place in three stages.
Firstly: Fixing the inner corners of Ryan's eyes
Secondly: A brow suspension - taking some tendon and skin from Ryan's leg and inserting it into his upper lids.
Thirdly: Fixing his lower lids / tear ducts to limit the watery eyes.
The best news of the day was that each of these operations would be conducted as day procedures! What a relief - we had expected days of hospital stay's and Ryan to be in enormous amounts of pain and discomfort.
When I asked about the waiting time for this surgery I was told that it would only be about 3 weeks - I had expected months and months!
We did not book the surgery in straight away, I wanted to go away, think about it all and when it would suit us best.
We walked out of the consulting rooms feeling positive about the future for the first time.
SURGERY BOOKED!! THE COUNTDOWN IS ON.
Well, we booked the first and second procedures - 22nd June and 6th July. To take place at the Royal Eye and Ear Hospital. The countdown is on and I have gone from feeling happy and positive about it all to being apprehensive and scared! Don't get me wrong - I am glad it is booked and that we have a date to work to - but having it finally here is scary. I'm not scared for what is going to happen to Ryan's eye's because I have complete faith in Dr McNab - but I am scared for the recovery and how it is going to affect Ryan. Will he cope well?? Will he be in much pain?? Will he scar badly?? and so many more questions.
WHY DO THIS BLOG??
I have decided to put my thoughts and Ryan's journey into this blog for two reasons.
Firstly - as a journal for Ryan of his journey. For him to look back on in the years to come and answer his questions (hopefully!!)
Secondly - for me. An outlet for my thoughts / fears / concerns. I hope to write here along the way - post photo's along and share my thoughts with whoever wants to read this. Hopefully there will be other mothers out there who are going through what we have and this may help them. It may also be good for my wonderful family to read this and understand my thoughts and feelings - cause I know I am hopeless at sharing them with others without crying - which I do easily - actually I am crying know!
This whole process brings a tear to my eye because I hate that Ryan has to go through this all. But deep down I know he's going to be ok. He was born tough and will pull through it better than the rest of us. It will be hard on me, Andrew, Cody, the rest of the Family and even our gorgeous Jesse Leslie. My only wish is that in a year or so time Ryan will look up at me and smile and I'll see those beautiful big blue eyes and know that it was all for the best!
It took about 4 months before we finally got help from a local doctor who referred us to Dr Andrew Narita, an eye specialist, at Geelong Private Hospital. Dr Narita diagnosed Ryan with Blepharophimosis Syndrome when he was 8 months old. We were told that it was mainly cosmetic but that he would suffer symptoms such as watery eye's, blocked tear ducts and discomfort. Luckily for us Ryan has only really had problem's with watery eye's.
We were advised that corrective surgery was the best option but that it was best to wait until Ryan's face and leg's grew. The reason for waiting for the leg to grow is because a skin and tendon graft would be needed in one of the surgeries.
We have had to visit Dr Narita every 6 - 12 months since this initial diagnosis in order for him to assess Ryan's vision. We have been lucky again that his vision has been perfectly normal for a child of his age.
We have always tried to be very positive about this condition with Ryan. We didn't really mention anything to him about surgery until very recently. Ryan knows that his eye's are different but to him (and us!) they are normal. He has handled it very well despite the questions from his friends at school and people in general. I have found that is the very young and the very old people who are the most upfront with their questions. We have been asked why Ryan looks sleepy... why can't he open his eye's properly... is he asian.... etc etc I have at times handled these questions badly and have felt bad for Ryan, but he has taught me to be strong and that it is ok to just answer as honestly as possible.
OUR JOURNEY TO THIS POINT...
At this stage we were under the impression that surgery was going to be a lengthy and painful process for everyone involved. We made the decision in early 2009 to send Ryan to school early (at 4yrs 9mths old) so that we had some time up our sleeves in order to be able to have him repeat a year if necessary after or during his surgeries.
Ryan started school in 2010. He struggles a little academically but he is loving the social side of school! During his first school holidays he came up to me and wanted to know when he could go back to school... cause his friends would be missing him!!!! Which I am sure is true as Ryan has always been the life of any party and the friendliest, kindest and most caring little boy I know.
During the school holidays our aptm with the surgery was finally booked... we were finally going to get some answers as to when and how the surgery would take place!
MEETING THE SURGEON - DR ALAN MCNAB
We met Dr McNab on Thursday 9th April. I was very nervous about what we were about to hear. Ryan had been told that we were there to meet the doctor and decide if he could make Ryan's eyes look like everyone else's. Dr McNab was fabulous. He got along well with Ryan, Andrew and I felt comfortable asking questions and Cody was involved and asking questions too. But the best thing was that he was so positive. He informed us that surgery would take place in three stages.
Firstly: Fixing the inner corners of Ryan's eyes
Secondly: A brow suspension - taking some tendon and skin from Ryan's leg and inserting it into his upper lids.
Thirdly: Fixing his lower lids / tear ducts to limit the watery eyes.
The best news of the day was that each of these operations would be conducted as day procedures! What a relief - we had expected days of hospital stay's and Ryan to be in enormous amounts of pain and discomfort.
When I asked about the waiting time for this surgery I was told that it would only be about 3 weeks - I had expected months and months!
We did not book the surgery in straight away, I wanted to go away, think about it all and when it would suit us best.
We walked out of the consulting rooms feeling positive about the future for the first time.
SURGERY BOOKED!! THE COUNTDOWN IS ON.
Well, we booked the first and second procedures - 22nd June and 6th July. To take place at the Royal Eye and Ear Hospital. The countdown is on and I have gone from feeling happy and positive about it all to being apprehensive and scared! Don't get me wrong - I am glad it is booked and that we have a date to work to - but having it finally here is scary. I'm not scared for what is going to happen to Ryan's eye's because I have complete faith in Dr McNab - but I am scared for the recovery and how it is going to affect Ryan. Will he cope well?? Will he be in much pain?? Will he scar badly?? and so many more questions.
WHY DO THIS BLOG??
I have decided to put my thoughts and Ryan's journey into this blog for two reasons.
Firstly - as a journal for Ryan of his journey. For him to look back on in the years to come and answer his questions (hopefully!!)
Secondly - for me. An outlet for my thoughts / fears / concerns. I hope to write here along the way - post photo's along and share my thoughts with whoever wants to read this. Hopefully there will be other mothers out there who are going through what we have and this may help them. It may also be good for my wonderful family to read this and understand my thoughts and feelings - cause I know I am hopeless at sharing them with others without crying - which I do easily - actually I am crying know!
This whole process brings a tear to my eye because I hate that Ryan has to go through this all. But deep down I know he's going to be ok. He was born tough and will pull through it better than the rest of us. It will be hard on me, Andrew, Cody, the rest of the Family and even our gorgeous Jesse Leslie. My only wish is that in a year or so time Ryan will look up at me and smile and I'll see those beautiful big blue eyes and know that it was all for the best!
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